01 June 2007


With all of my heart and soul, I want to be a valiant and courageous woman. Hear me say I want to actually be one, not just be seen as one. There is quite a difference.

I have begun reading Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge, which I am doing as a book study with another girlfriend. A few pages into the first chapter, there was this quote:

"Then the time came when the risk it took
To remain tight in a bud was more painful

Than the risk it took to bloom."

~ Anais Nin

Oh. Dear. Little tears in my eyes. I'm not sure exactly what I love about this quote...maybe it's the feeling of being on the verge of something that is somehow scary and enticing. "Then the time came..." implies that enough is enough. "Then the time came..." implies that before that, there was another time of covering, hovering, and closing oneself off. A time of doing anything but living courageously.

I want to blossom. I want to stop allowing myself to choose things that cause me to wither on the vine, and instead choose those things that are life-giving. The world does not and cannot dictate my beauty, worth, and identity. It is time to start living as the captivating, courageous woman I was intended and created to be. This is the only way I can represent Christ to the world.

Does it mean becoming an extrovert? No. I don't know if I'll ever be that. It just means choosing to live without fear, for God's sake.

So as I go through my book study of Captivating, I'm thinking about using my blog to include those of you other women who also want to read the book from afar. I would post my thoughts on the chapter, one a week, and then you could participate in the comments section. I purchased the Captivating Guided Journal also, which will help raise questions for pondering alone with God and together. Many of you, too, have said you want to pursue this abundance of life we have available to us as women.

So who is with me?


amy said...

I'm with you pape...on all of it. Living without fear is something that is always talked about, but difficult (and sometimes painful) to put into action. I like that you have the desire to DO IT and not just talk about doing it. I look forward to your upcoming posts. This blog was just what I needed to read today. Thank you.
Love, Ame

Suz said...

gosh stine, i have always loved that quote adn love what you said about blossoming. oh to live as we were truly created to live...

i'm in. i'm adding the book to my beach bag now...

Jenni said...

I echo your first paragraph - for myself. I can't do the book right now due to another book review assignment, but I look forward to reading your posts and insight!

Ange said...

Ohh, I wanna join ya! Gotta go buy it!

Lauren said...

hmmmm....if you can take a critical reader, i'm in. i'm not a HUGE fan of the eldredge bunch, but i have read 2 or 3 chapters of that book randomly, and think there are enough chewy morsels that i could really glean something from it....especially if you're the group leader ;)

Mel said...

The guy that I've completely fallen for asked me not long ago what I want to be like when I'm old. I didn't have much of an answer at the time except to say the usual Christian thing. I thought about it over the next couple of days and two things came to mind. #1. I want to walk and talk with God like Enoch did. #2. I want to be fearless.

I am entrapped by fear, even in love I am consumed by it for what if it is a figment of my imagination and what if it like every other love story in my life leaves me in pieces? So, I am struggling to be fearless in trusting in the Lord, in loving fearlessly and hoping without fear. And how can I be afraid of even what my Abba Daddy has for me- or more like...what He may not have in store for me? How can I be afraid of Him?

I was driving to the gym tongiht and was listening to David Crowder's Lime CD. At one point in the second song he yells "LOUDER!" to the crowd as they are singing. Now, I've been listening to this CD for the last month so it's amazing I haven't completley tuned it out by now. But I was speechless for a moment b/c it was almost like God was just like "Louder. You are living but a whisper of what You are in me. Louder." So I want to trust "louder", I want to hope "louder" and scream fearlessness with the way I hold onto the Lord.

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I am in a bible study with five women and we are going to be starting Captivating. Funny timing huh? :)

And the picture of the poppy (?) completely rocks- I'm totally jealous! :)

Love ya,