1000 Miles to True Freedom.

“Gas in the car, get in...
Say we're never spontaneous
We're taking a chance at living the wild life, baby…

The clothes on our back are plenty
Everybody will wonder where we've gone to…
This could be a real good story, someday soon.”

A little over a week ago, I was in Nashville for a short trip, and Suz and I decided to do something we’ve wanted to do ever since we became friends: wake up at 6am on an ordinary Friday morning, throw an iPod, some clothes, apples, and peanut butter crackers into a bag, hop into Suz’ Jeep named Boy Scout and drive to one of our favorite places: the emerald coast of Florida. Oh yes, 500 spontaneous miles, many laughs, and one emergency bathroom stop later (giggle), we drove into Seaside, Florida with perma-grins on our faces and flip-flops on our feet that were itching to be removed so our toes could wiggle in the sugar white sand.

Amidst the myriad of times we’ve been to Destin and the memories we’ve made there, something was very different about this trip. I think we’d both come to expect multiple beach trips each year and had become greedy with how much time we could spend in the “perfect little beach town.” But due to a few situations that have happened lately, this trip was characterized not by greed but by overwhelming thankfulness: several days of working overtime that allowed us to both get off work on Friday, my husband giving me an enthusiastic thumbs-up and encouraging us to get a hotel rather than sleeping in our cars as originally planned :), our financial problems and then Suz’s generosity to pay for all the gas…So, tell me, would I have appreciated this sweet trip so much if life hadn’t been standing in the way of it before? Would I have treasured a day-and-a-half getaway with one of my closest friends if I didn’t normally live hundreds of miles away from her? I can’t help but think that sometimes God makes us release the fingers that so tightly grasp our dreams and ideals before He will give us some or all of it back – in His time and in the right way.

And now for some pics from the trip....

0 minutes into the trip. We left so early that no one was awake except the Pest Control man, who we asked to take this shot. Judging by the blurriness, we figure he should probably stick to spraying termites :).

Morning sun is shining, and we’ll be at the beach in 7 hours. Can’t fake these smiles!

Somewhere between Nashville and the Alabama line: Two Idealists in the car always makes for some good laughs. We pass an 18-wheeler truck in the shoulder with smoke pouring out of the side of it, and what does Suz have to say? “Ooooh, look at how the sunbeams are shining through the smoke! That’s beautiful!”

1.5 hours into the trip: The Alabama line. We made it out of Tennessee, and we’re happy to announce that not only is that a rocket, but yes Alabama is STILL happy to see us.


No road trip is complete without some luscious Diet Sunkist!


7.5 hours into the trip: It’s cloudy, but we’re finally in Seaside, so who cares?


8 hours into the trip: I think we can pass as beach house owners, don’t you? We sure look like the kind of gals who could own million dollar summer homes. Hee hee.

Here are some more fun ones from the beach…

Wow...just wow.





16 hours into the trip: Let’s not forget the infamous Destin Walmart – where else can you get airbrushed t-shirts and useless plastic beach bling??





16.5 hours into the trip: All the ice cream shops were closed when we finished dinner, so we bought some No Sugar Added Breyers Peanut Butter Tracks at Walmart and ate it in our hotel room. Yes, we’re both seeking recovery for this addiction, and I realize it violates my previous Whole Foods post :). But no time with Suz is complete without an ice cream run!!



28 hours into the trip: Beautifully sunny Seaside welcomes us Saturday morning at one of our favorite picture spots.


33 hours into the trip: Ice cream, sunshine, and a quiet spot to sit in a quaint beach town – I didn’t think I’d ever get Suz to leave this gazebo :).


34 hours into the trip: Saw this beach house and fell in love. It’s even my favorite color, and the handpainted sign above the door says, “Remember To Smile.” What a wonderful way to end our day before heading back to Nashville…


“If the ocean is warm we'll take a swim…
Fill our pockets with sand to prove we went…
To our friends.”

The next morning, sleepy-eyed at the airport, I was fishing for my boarding pass and found sand in my purse :). I closed my eyes and said, “Thank you, Jesus.” Not because I had been at the beach, but because since the last time I was there, I’ve been learning what true spiritual freedom is. I’ve been learning that I don’t need to get away to Seaside, FL to be on a spiritual high or to feel content with my life. Instead of having the momentary satisfaction that comes from worldly things or places or being with certain people, I’m tasting the kind of freedom that comes from a deep change inside the heart.

When this is happening, I believe that everything I enjoy about this life...from the coast to being in the sun to ice cream to Diet Sunkist…all point to a much greater joy. Only can we truly enjoy and appreciate the little gifts this world has to offer when they do not stand alone.

Whole Foods = pretty darn close to Heaven.

OK so the title of this post is a bit of an exaggeration, but all I know is that I’ve felt a hundred times healthier, more energetic, alive, and strong, since we went all organic.

Call me a health nut, call me “granola,” call me whatever you want, but the extra cost of natural foods is worth it to me now. I just can’t help but be reminded that they didn’t inject meat with hormones in Biblical times, nor were strawberries grown to mutant sizes. And it should be worth mentioning that some of the healthiest people in the world (lowest rates of cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes…) are those who live in the south of Italy and other Mediterranean locales. They eat food in its purest form.

A good friend of ours is a holistic nutritionist and corrective exercise specialist (among about 10 other titles), and he always reminds us, “If God didn’t make it, don’t eat it.” And while that sounds radical, I’m finding through practice that there is a lot of truth to that saying. I only have one body, and I’m not going to waste it. I’m not going to obsess about it either, because the Scriptures say, “do not worry about what you will eat or drink,” but I believe I can love people better and serve God better when I’m feeling my healthiest. I have to admit I can’t completely give up having ice cream and some sugar every now and then (tee hee!), but the change between what I put in my body now and what I used to is pretty drastic.

My workouts have gone through a complete overhaul as well (I heart my yoga mat), and that’s a huge part of my physical and mental changes, but for now I'm going to focus on the good eats found at Whole Foods ~ and those favorites I put in my cart every time.


1. Organic Produce. Folks, I'm not lying when I say that I just recently started to truly taste fruits & vegetables. There's a distinct difference in taste with organic produce. Apples, pineapples, strawberries, ohhhh the oranges, pears....shallots, onions, avocado, broccoli...pretty much everything in the produce section :).

2. Ezekiel 4:9 Live Grain Bread. This is the best bread I have EVER put in my mouth. Sesame is my favorite flavor, but all of the Food For Life flavors are great. Toasted with a bit of real butter and some natural orange marmalade...and it melts in your mouth. There is no flour in this bread, just natural grains.

3. Carob Energee Nuggets. Yes, ma'am. This is a great treat to curb a sweet tooth. Just one nugget, and I'm satisfied (now that's a phrase you don't hear everyday...). Although this pic shows them in a package, I've only found them in the "bulk" bins at Whole Foods, and they're made of honey, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, cashews, peanuts, carob powder, peanut butter, and pumpkin seeds. Mmmm.

4. Stevia. This is a wonderful substitute for sugar, and it comes from a plant instead of being manufactured in a factory with chlorine bleach like Splenda. Sick. I made this delicious Oatmeal Apple Muffins recipe using Stevia last week...and wow, you couldn't eat just one. Warning: Stevia doesn't taste very good in coffee. But it's perfect in tea. Which leads me to....

5. Yerba Maté. I have Jenni to thank for this recommendation! Not only is it a natural stimulant, but it also detoxifies the body, boosts immune function, and decreases hunger cravings, along with a host of other good things. In Brazil, Argentina, and Paraguay, they drink it out of a hollowed-out gourd. I love the Chocolatté flavor by Guayaki. It comes in a bag just like tea, and you steep it in hot water. I add one packet of Stevia. Of course the FDA won't approve it because our nation is addicted to crap like sugar and preservatives. The FDA sucks.


6. California Suncakes. Another great natural treat! I love the poppy seed flavor. It almost has the consistency of a scone – dense and very filling. I've read that parents use this as a great natural snack for their kids. Sure beats Pop Tarts. Oh, and I love the packaging artwork :).

7. Turkey Bacon. This is a breakfast staple for me. Heck, an anytime staple. It kind of resembles the taylor ham I grew up eating in Jersey. Way less greasy than pork bacon, and it comes in wider thin strips. I love to tear it into pieces and scramble it with eggs and green onion. Or dill. Or raw broccoli! It's also great wrapped around a chicken breast and secured with tooth pics while baked - gives the chicken a great flavor.

8. Kombucha. This is an organic raw fermented tea. I know, gag a maggot, right? OH, but no! It tastes like spiked sparkling fruit juice! The first sip is kind of gross, but then you find yourself wanting more and more. Not bad for something that also detoxifies, helps reduce colds, regulates the appetite...and I just read it helps restore gray hair to its natural color - what? gimme a case of that stuff!

9. 96% Lean Grass-Fed Ground Beef. I used to not be a big beef fan, unless I was really in the mood for a burger from Logan's (Suz, can I get an Amen??). But this beef is unbelievable. Unless beef is marked "grass-fed," that means the cows are fed grain, and oftentimes they're fattened up way before they're supposed to be naturally. This beef is almost as lean as fish and chicken. Make burgers by mixing the ground beef with chopped onions and garlic (or jalapeños if you're feeling brave!).

10. Horizon Organic Cottage Cheese. This is by far the best cottage cheese I've ever tasted, and I would consider myself a cottage cheese connaiseur :). It also has at least 4 more grams of protein than other cottage cheeses I've seen. Mix it with strawberries, apples, or any other fruit. Put it on crackers. Spread it on live grain bread and sprinkle on some cinnamon. Mercy.

So, there you have it. I'm probably going to get beaten over the head by our holistic friend for including dairy on here, but that's a topic for another day.

Ice water toast!

Good thing we don't need Valentine's Day to have this much fun together... :)

A Greater Love.

My husband brought home some lovely red tulips for me last night as an early Valentine's gift. And on Sunday, I received a yellow candy heart from my 5-year-old friend Emma with a special "love" message on it that says: "Whiz Kid." It's still in my jacket pocket so everytime my hand touches it, I can be reminded of the simple giving heart of a child (and that I'm a genius, hee hee).

However, today I'm reminded of an even greater Love than that which can be symbolized by a heart-shaped candy or a stuffed teddy bear that's sold on the aisles of Walgreens, Target, and Walmart once a year. It's greater than bouquets of exotic roses from Central Market and yes, even Emeril's Espresso-Hazelnut Cheesecake with Orange Caramel Sauce (Lord, have mercy...).

This is the kind of Love that carries us even during seasons in our lives when we're not acknowledging the One whose arms are around us, a Love that chases after us when we don't show an ounce of love in return, a Love that waits patiently, drawing us, until we finally turn our faces in its direction with no other distraction.

"I taught Ephraim to walk,
Taking them by their arms;
But they did not know that I healed them.
I drew them with gentle cords,
With bands of love.
And I was to them as those who take the yoke from their neck.
I stooped and fed them."
~ Hosea 11:3-4

“I will betroth you to Me forever,
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
And you shall know the Lord.”
~ Hosea 2:19-20

THIS, my friends, is true love. And may we remember it long past today.

Chubby bunny.

Well, folks, a few days ago I had the surgery we all dread as kids but which is reportedly even worse to have as an adult: yes, I had my wisdom teeth removed. And what a humbling experience it’s been. More than anything, I’m humbled by my husband’s servitude as he completely put himself aside for 3 straight days: cleaning the kitchen and making me an endless supply of smoothies and ice cream sundaes, keeping track of my medication schedule, setting me up on the couch with 4 pillows and every girly movie known to man, and even holding the drool bowl under my chin multiple times while I washed out my mouth with the syringe. Now, that’s love.

But what's really love is that he can still say I’m beautiful when I look like a chipmunk with my cheeks swollen out to kingdom come :). Of course I never wanted to reveal these photos, but in keeping with the spirit of being the “real” Christine on this blog, I’m officially unveiling the worst pics ever taken of me for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy :).

Coming out of the sedation fog and Steven already has me laughing...

Pitiful much?

Nice try, buddy....you still have to make me some soup.

Suz and I kinda think my cheeks look like the “swiss water” lady in the movie Return To Me in this pic - hee hee!

And the crowning glory of them all...I don't know what's worse about this pic: the fact that I look like a character out of The Chronicles of Narnia (Mrs. Tumnus, perhaps?) or the unidentifiable substance I'm about to put in my mouth!

A good cry.

"I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet."

~ Chinese Proverb

I never used to be able to cry in front of people. Yes, there were definitely times in my life after months and months (or even years) of emotions building up when I would finally explode and let it all out in a huge crying session in my room alone (emphasis on the word alone). I’m not sure why this is, but I think it’s the part of me that doesn’t want anyone to know I’m the one with problems, or that I need help. I’m so used to being the “fixer,” the one who is always OK.

Funny thing is, I’ve cried more this past year and a half than I probably have in my entire life combined. Ironically though, this past year has also been filled with some of the greatest joys I’ve ever experienced. And isn’t it just like God to work things that way? The upside-down kingdom…wading through your deepest pain, you will find your greatest joy…to find your life, you must lose your life…becoming less on earth means becoming great in Heaven…and on and on it goes.

So last night, I had a total meltdown. It all started because I was feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t able to go to the beach last year with my girlfriends, a tradition I’ve had for almost 10 years now. And it was looking grim that it wasn’t going to happen this year, either, for financial reasons. So my flesh that usually lies dormant in the land of “I’m Okay” reared its ugly head in front of my husband, and it wasn’t pretty. I was feeling sorry for myself for having to give that trip up for now, but on a larger scale, just struggling with the idea that I can’t just do what I want to do anymore…and that my life isn’t as cush as it was when I was single.

So much of my life I’ve been spoiled and been able to travel the world and have lots of “mountaintop” experiences. And while those times have shaped me greatly and have allowed me to enjoy many glorious places on this earth, it’s almost a curse in a way. Because…really….how long can life go on that perfectly? At some point, something’s got to give. And reality is, life is hard. People get sick, people go bankrupt, friends get divorced and lose their children. And for some reason I cling so tightly to the world that God has to give me some pain in order to make me release those fingers that are tightly holding my dreams.

I don’t mean to make it sound so grim and hopeless. I do love my life, and I’m blessed with the most amazing husband a girl could ask for!! Steven wants me to keep that dreamer side alive, perhaps even more than I do myself! But he challenges me as much as he loves me, and he won’t let me stay in my cozy world without risking a little bit…without doing some things that I’m afraid of. Yes, it’s a risker life. Its different than my life before, but is that so bad? Is it so bad to give in to change, to let things morph and beautify, as God makes me more like Him?

So last night during my meltdown, and even after I said mean things to him, Steven held me and let me snot all over his arm and told me he loved me so much that he wouldn’t eat for 6 weeks so we could make my beach trip happen,..which of course, made me cry harder! I can be so selfish, and I hate that part of myself.

The Apostle Paul said: “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans 7:18-20 ~NIV)

So back to the quote I put above…"I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet." It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the things I’m missing out on, the things that are removed from my life, whether for a season or forever. And I can get angry with God for that and wonder why I have to give up things in order to gain wisdom, peace, or true joy? My selfish nature just wants more. I want the beach house and the plot of land outside my window and the ability to paint things for people all day, and 3 kids. And you know, He might give us some or all of those things. But that’s completely missing the point. The point is, what is my heart in love with? And what does God have to do to show me that my heart is really just searching for true intimacy with Him? I’m over here whining about not going to the beach for two summers of my life, and it sounds quite ridiculous in light of people who have never left the slums or had a clean place to sleep.

The emerald coastline of Destin will still be there six months from now. However, what I hope will be on its way out in some form or fashion is my utter selfishness and that part of me that so easily falls in love with the things this world offers. Why can’t I enjoy Creation without putting my hope in it, without allowing it to dictate my moods or my outlook on life? Why can’t I have that Kingdom perspective? Then I hear my Father whisper, “I’m not finished with you yet,” and I think perhaps I'm harder on myself than God is. I’m just glad I can have that smallest seed of courage now to start letting myself feel.

So I’m posting this publicly on my blog to be open about my weaknesses and to say that I’m working on these things. I want to be a better version of Christine Bailey as I walk through disappointments, joys, highs and lows. I’ll always be a dreamer and an idealist…that’s how I’m wired. And honestly, it’s one of the things I like about myself. I just hope that little by little, I can embrace God’s dreams for me even more than I enjoy this beautiful world I live in now…and that I can be as joyful knowing Christ as I am running into the ocean He created.

An Italian girl at heart!

I found this quiz online today and was happy to find that it confirmed what I already knew about myself.... :)

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

By the way, I'll take my Italy-lovin' half Korean man over a "gorgeous Italian man" any day!

MORE ON BELLA ITALIA COMING SOON....

Two pickles in a patch.

Walking buddy, sous-chef, fellow cuddler in the Big Chair, movie watching partner, one who makes me laugh uncontrollably, masseuse, baseball catcher, listener, Bible study partner, challenger, holder when I hurt, missionary, lover, and best friend in the entire world.

6 months ago, I was in a flowy white dress in the rain, walking down a hill covered with rose petals, surrounded by our closest community, and I was about to unite with the man who has redefined everything I previously knew about love. 6 months later, I couldn’t ask for anyone more perfectly designed to hold my hand through this crazy life.

Thank you, Jesus, for sending me Steven Bailey :-).

India and white twinkle lights.

Just like my husband, all the lights in the house are asleep....except for the white twinklers on our little Christmas tree. The tree subtly stands at the end of the bed where I'm sitting in our loft, and my toes can almost touch the branches. It's so peaceful up here. As I soak in that special quiet that surrounds you when everyone else is sleeping, I'm thinking about Christmas and how it began with one single bright star...a star that led us to the one Light of the World. Somehow, in the midst of stocking stuffers, wrapping paper, and mall traffic, it's progressed into one of the most stressful, busy, and downright superficial times of the year, and I've been caught up in it once again. This year is different though. I'm still excited about giving gifts, and we've definitely hung our stockings on our makeshift "mantle" (the railing for the stairs leading up to the loft), but tonight I'm wondering why I seem to so easily forget the one and only thing that is worth celebrating.

I absolutely love The Food Network, but if you watch it as much as I do, you'll really start to believe that "the holidays" are all about family, making cookies with sprinkles, and adding an extra splash of heavy cream to everything you're eating. "It's the holidays, throw some extra sugar in there! Indulge a little!"

Holiday. For a word that's supposed to mean "a religious feast day; a holy day," there doesn't seem to be much holiness about it (ouch...that hit home).

As I spoke with my friend Pastor Samson in India today, I was humbled to remember what I've been so quick to forget. The "holidays" are not about getting, eating, indulging, or even making the house look pretty (as I straighten the wreath on my door for the twentieth time). Why, for once, can't it be about LESS? Making myself less. Living with less in this world. Removing distractions so I can see that one light that shines in the darkness...the light that the darkness does not understand...the light that is life to us...the light that is sometimes much more easily seen by believers like those I know in India.

Oh, how differently we celebrate Christmas here as compared to the rest of the world. The first thing on my mind is how I'm going to beat traffic to make it to Toys 'R Us and still have time for all the cookie-making, house-cleaning, and gift-wrapping. And what on earth, out of my closet full of clothes, am I going to wear to the Christmas Eve service?? On the other side of the world, Pastor Samson and his staff are thinking about how many sarees they can gather to give to the widows in nearby villages who cannot even afford a single dress. They're looking forward only to their hour-long prayer meeting on Christmas Eve and the "love feast" they'll share together afterwards. And we'll probably be eating more food on Christmas Day than they've seen in the past week.

It's almost a year ago now that I stepped foot in India for the first time. After 19 hours on a plane, I made it to Chennai at 2 am never feeling so alone in my life. Anxiously, I scanned the crowd for Pastor Samson and a sign with my name on it. Dozens of empty, foreign eyes stared back at me at the baggage claim as I became more and more desperate - why on earth had I come here alone? Relieved, I finally found Samson and then proceeded to violate every cultural rule in the book by flinging myself at him for a hug. The blessed man forgave me quickly, and he and his wife Prabhukumari led me to the taxi. My eyes were wide as I took in the first sights of India...people living in shacks on the side of the road, cows crossing the street with the cars, wild boars feeding on trash, and the smells, oh, the smells. This was going to be an adventure...

During those 10 days in India, I went to the farthest corners of the earth, was in the most physical discomfort, was more hungry, saw more beautiful people, and experienced more joy than I ever have in my life. I was stretched farther than I ever thought I could be. I saw the hopefulness and joy firsthand that comes from walking closely with Jesus, and I'm not talking about just going to church on Sunday, singing a few hymns, and then going out to lunch. I met a widowed father of 3 little children who has one leg and walks to church with crutches and a smile on his face. I stood in a grass hut village of people who lost husbands and fathers to the tsunami, and still, these new barefoot friends of mine could only think of one thing: proudly showing me the new church they'd built for their village - literally a concrete room the size of a closet, the ceiling strewn with colorful paper lanterns. On that hard, cold floor, we sat together and sang hymns to a God who is so big that He is as present in the smallest village of India as He is in my apartment in Dallas. I played with children at the Peace City orphanage who pray more earnestly at 6 years old than I've ever prayed in my life. I held their hands and touched their little, skinny legs. I played ball with them and laughed with them, the whole time wondering how I got to have this opportunity...and humbled to wonder how I could make sense of my middle-class Western life after the trip was over. You know, I've heard that joy comes through suffering, but there, I saw it and tasted it. I didn't understand it, but I sure believed it.

A year later, I still haven't made sense of it, but I hope I'm a little farther along. Of course I still find happiness in decorating our tree, giving gifts, baking 15 dozen Yummy Cookies and playing my Nat King Cole/Dean Martin/Bing Crosby Christmas album on endless loop. And I'm not saying we all have to sell our things and move to India, but what am I doing with my life to make it clear what I truly value? To reach out to others in love? To make myself less and not keep asking for more? And by the way, what if God called us to move to India one day? Would I be willing to go?

So almost a year later and as Christmas Day swiftly approaches, I want to take a few moments to remember my friends oceans away in the little town of Ongole, India. Pastor Samson, Prabhukumari, Wesley, Hudson, and even little Kerthanea the orphan girl with pigtails. Peace be with you, friends. From another continent and thousands of miles away, you have reminded me: "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14). These white twinkle lights at the foot of the bed are a lot more than a decoration to me now...and I hope it doesn't take until next December for me to remember that simple Truth again.

P.S. You can see all of my photos from India here.