24 September 2008

Just being.

On my lunch break today, I went out on the front porch and realized the sun was a bit cooler than usual. I sat on the top step, wrapped my arms around my knees and decided to "just be" for a little while, something I rarely do during the workday.

With only myself to blame, I have let many of my days become so fast-faced that my work hours have flown by in a state of frenzy, my lunch "breaks" spent scarfing down food at my desk and working against some imaginary clock that no one is enforcing but me. Shushing my husband when he tries to talk to me as I'm typing an email is not OK.

In addition, the stress of this overwork has started to manifest itself in my life physically, and that is also not OK. I can no longer afford not to stop...not to rest...not to slow down. What am I trying to prove anyway? What is the point of working myself so hard in the name of serving....that it hinders my ability to serve? It doesn't even make sense. I don't think it serves God for me not to take care of this body or to keep fueling a twisted pride that I am better than someone else for doing more.

As I sit here today in the early fall sun, I'm glad I stopped. And like a little reward, I'm noticing some things I would have missed otherwise...

...More and more buds on the roses and hollyhocks...




...The click-click-clicking of a cricket somewhere in the grass.

...Slowly swishing leaves high up in the trees, showing a few beginning tinges of yellow.

...Twisting vines of the morning glories that have claimed the front porch railing...


...An airplane high up in the sky, framed perfectly between the limbs of our baby oak tree (look closely)...


...My shadow in the sun...


...The gorgeous inspiration on these pages in my new Coastal Living that I just discovered in the mailbox...





I think I'll sit out here a little bit longer. Paint my toes. Finish reading my magazine. And hopefully return back inside more centered, more peaceful, more aware, more ready to live life in a way that honors God and cares for myself in a healthy way.

5 comments:

Mandy said...

Again, so thankful you shared this. I need this reminder DAILY.

I realize sometimes when I'm inhaling my lunch, hurrying to find the quickest route to/from work and my apartment (which is only 4 minutes, mind you...) and turning right on red at stoplights, that I'm hurrying sometimes just for nothing. I don't even have anything to rush back for. I just live a hurried lifestyle, and I need to just be.

I'm going to do this tonight...
Thanks for reminding me.

The Morginskys said...

i've missed you posting!!! i bet working from home makes you have alot of unneccessary pressure on yourself. you do a great work stine!!!!

robyn a. jones said...

amen, i just get so caught up in the day to day life.. work,community work,cooking,exercise ... and then i don't sleep, so that just compounds the negatives on the health & mental state because i don't rest. i just went through sleep testing. we all need to take some time to enjoy the peace around us.

jenni said...

I love that shadow photo.
:)

Abbie said...

Oh my goodness--that elegant tree covered with moss. Wow. So beautiful!